This week’s article is all learning some things that will for sure let you earn some ally points. Ready to dust off a few outdated inaccuracies about LGBTQ peeps? Well, here we go!
Much to say about nothing
There is a ton of misinformation about gay people floating around out concerning gay sex and dating, I’m bringing out the old torch to shine some light on it.
I remember one show that came close to accurately portraying life on the gay dating scene. A little production called Looking.
This had took some time getting off the ground but hot dang, when it did, is it was spectacular.
Prior to that, the only other show that provided a different perspective (to me at least) on LGBTQ dating was Queer as Folk. I have to give it props for finally showing the non-stereotypical flamboyant gay, because there’s a spectrum of sexuality. And this show took the time to display that spectrum.
Sure, there were also gay tropes galore but it added some nuance to gay dynamics.
Outside of these and perhaps The L Word however, there’s not too much content that provides proper education on the subject of gay sexuality.This responsibility should rest with the education system of a respective country but it's fallen by the way side due to a plethora of socio-political reasons.
An examples of this is Section 28 in the UK, this prohibited the promotion of homosexuality and was repealed as recently as 2003.
In the US, states like Alabama, Texas, Utah and five other states still hold onto outdated laws that prevent access to sex education for LGBTQ youth.
It’s no wonder the sexual experiences which in and of themselves can be awkward are unnecessarily magnified.
Most movies that portray queer people either show them as highly flamboyant nymphomaniacs, ready to hump just about anything on two legs. Or they’re butch.
And you wonder why many people have no clue about what goes where. To be fair, I’ve had many an awkward conversation with my straight friends who do try to understand gay sex.
Without further delay, here are 6 facts about gay people that you’ll never learn in school.
1. Lesbians who engage in intercourse don't need contraceptives.
I have to be making this up right?! Like why is contraception even needed if you can’t get preggers. Keep in mind that anyone engaging in intercourse can still transmit a host of sexually transmitted diseases. This makes sure that’s no no.
2. Gay sex happens on the spot.
Unlike those movies that show an express train to penetration station, that’s not the case in reality. Gay intercourse takes planning and preparation. This tends to involve a douching or self-given enema to avoid accidents during the act. A big must is also lubrication because leaving this out can lead to a painful experience.
3. Bisexuality is a phase
Sexuality consists of a spectrum, a scale. Bisexual folk fall on that same scale too. In fact sexuality doesn’t fall into clearly marked lines. One such way to demarcate this spectrum is the Kinsley scale. While super limited and in much need of revamping, the scale provides that reference for sexual diversity all the same.
4. All lesbians scissor
Nope, I’m not too sure how this bit of misinformation grew faster than a line of consumers cashing in discounts on Black Friday. There is a form of scissoring called tribbing but there are many creative and most importantly pleasure ways those with lady parts pleasure each other.
5. Not all gay men are attracted to every guy out there
This is one of my personal "favourites". Yes guys, don’t worry, I can assure you Bob at the local convenience store who likes grabbing his crotch in public is pretty safe from our insatiable thirst for dick. I don’t know how this even makes sense but just as hetero-normative people aren’t attracted to every member of the opposite gender, the same goes for gay folk.
Everyone has a preference that attracts them. In fact, I have many a straight friend who I’m not dying to hump.
6. There’s not a 'guy' and a 'girl'
Oooh, it takes every molecule of my soul to suppress an eye role when I get asked, ‘who’s the guy and who’s the girl’ . Again, this is based on ignorance which to me isn’t the lack of intelligence but literally the lack of knowledge. To de-combobulate this, let’s define gender, sex and sexuality.
Gender is all about how you self-identify i.e man or woman, biological sex refers to the parts you’re born with. Then we have sexuality which is simply who you’re attracted to, i.e your sexual orientation.
That last one I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t too clear on for the longest time but hey, we’re all still learning right?!
Now you can go into the world, head held high and with a new found woke-ness.
Seriously though, for those struggling with viable sources of information, or just complete lack thereof, you can check out these pages: